Just Say “No”

³³ “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ ³⁴ But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; ³⁵ or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. ³⁶ And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. ³⁷ All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

(Matthew 5: 33 – 37) NIV

Whenever we say “yes”,

we say “no” to someone else.

Do you have trouble saying “No”, read on to learn to say the most important word in the English language.

The ability to say no has to do with setting healthy boundaries.  Boundaries are like a fence around our property, we keep all that we value inside the fence and only let in those we respect our property.  In the same way, personal bo

undaries enable us to say “no” to everything and everyone which does not allow us to care for what is important.  See below for three considerations when setting boundaries.  Keep in mind all three are needed for healthy boundaries.  If one is affected, the others are affected as well.

Three considerations when saying “No” (setting boundaries)

1. Does it affect your relationship with God

     We should no to everything that negatively affects our relationship with God.

2. Does it take away from caring for yourself

     We should say no to everything that takes away from caring for ourselves.  This means self care physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.  Often, the one we say no to is ourselves.

3. Does it take away from caring for your family.

     Do we sat yes to working 60 – 70 hours a week?  If so, we are saying no to our family.  Ask your family if you are home enough, the answer may surprise you.

Trouble saying No?

Do you have trouble saying “no”? If so, try setting three (3) priorities for your life, then say “no” to whatever is outside your priorities.

Do anything for anyone?

Will you do anything for anyone? This may seem like a good thing, but actually means we say “Yes” to every demand.  By doing so we demonstrate a lack of boundaries and say “No” to those we love including God, ourselves and our families.

Scripture reading: Matthew 25, Psalm 104, Exodus 18, Matthew 6

Recommended reading: “Boundaries: When to Say yes, How to Say No to Take Control of your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend